oh what a weekend we have had! it was a weekend filled with loads of guilt free creative/diy time & lots of time with my little man celebrating his birthday. luckily i somehow managed to squeeze everything in. i can’t wait to tell you all about the birthday festivities and super saturday projects tomorrow, but first it’s monday and that means it’s week five of something to talk about!
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all truth be told there have been times, like yesterday that i contemplate forgoing this link party, i mean does anyone really read it other than my sister and college roommate?
then i sit in yet another church lesson, like yesterday, where the subject of gossip, negativity & judging other’s & the damage all those things cause is brought up and i realize that if nothing else, i need this outlet. i need this weekly reminder to be more positive, more forgiving, more compassionate & more loving & i have a feeling i’m not the only one who can use this reminder sometimes…
it is so so easy to fall into a rut of habit. the question was actually asked in the lesson why we find ourselves judging or gossiping and the first thought that popped into my head was “because it’s easy, it’s the natural man. it doesn’t require thought.” isn’t that so true? gossip doesn’t require thought. it doesn’t even require much effort. all it requires is an untrained open mouth that can mindlessly babble on and and ego that feeds off of putting other’s down.
sadly, i spent many years finding lots of faults in other’s and in myself for that matter. believe me, you want a list of five things wrong with a room, a situation, another person or myself and i can tell you point blank. i notice details and i notice flaws in a mah-jor way! i used to be the queen of negativity (my college roommates can attest to this & my husband can attest to the fact that if i’m not mindful i can fall right back into my old ways). i use to rationalize i wasn’t being negative, i was just selective. i wasn’t judging, i was helping people be better. i wasn’t a hater, i was a perfectionist. i wasn’t being critical, i had high standards. etc. etc. funny how good we as humans are at rationalizing, isn’t it?
then one day a few years ago it hit me that i was missing out on A LOT by being so judgmental & critical, and that while sometimes you do need a discerning and critical eye in life matters, there always always always needs to be the right motive behind your intention, and that motive should be love. i was not motivated by love when i approached people, rather quite the opposite. i was motivated by fear, the accepted life view that people are not nice & a fanatical need to protect myself and to always be one better. my mind was targeted on finding other’s flaws before they saw my own. it was a defense mechanism i mastered very early on after being the misfit all through school.
the past couple years i have been trying to change that accepted view of life. i have been trying to break down the walls and see people as good and kind. old habits die hard though and if i’m not careful i can quickly revert back into that totally & completely not nice person. yuck!
so, in all honesty, this link party isn’t so much for everyone else as it is for me. i have come to look forward to writing this post sunday evenings & i’ve found i notice way more positive “something’s to talk about” through out the week since i know i have this post to write & right now i need that focus. i currently have a very long list of “somethings to talk about” and that makes me happy. it helps fill my life with gratitude & inspiration. it is 100% true that what you focus on and think about, you bring about. a lesson i wish i had paid more attention to when i was like 12?!
do i wish more people would link up each week? yes. yes, i do. i’ve decided though that i’m going to keep doing this link party regardless of whether or not it becomes popular. my hope is that maybe there are those of you who don’t link up, but you do read and you do find yourself now more aware of what is good, beautiful and positive in the world because this in a small way helps reset your focus each and every monday morning.
two thoughts during the above mentioned lesson stood out to me yesterday and made me even more set on continuing to do this weekly link up. the first was a quote from elder russel m. ballard that says:
“in recent years there has been a rash of articles, books, and films written about women and girls who gossip and who are “mean.” satan is always attempting to undermine the most precious element of a woman’s divine nature—the nature to nurture.“ (source)
there was also the thought shared by a visitor that:
“dis-ease (like being uneasy) and disease (as in an illness) both spread. so what are we spreading? are we spreading love and joy or “dis-ease”? what energy are we spreading each and every day?”
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| what are you spreading when you talk with friends? |
i loved both these statements. gossip and judgement prevents us from developing our nature to nurture & they are both forms of very negative energy and “dis-ease”. i don’t know about all of you, but i want to be developing my ability to nurture and love. i want to be spreading positive energy and i feel that in one very small way i am doing that each monday by continuing this post. we as woman have so much we can contribute to each other, to our families and to our communities. especially if we focus on working together and not against each other. when we as woman can move beyond petty and superficial things & bond together and use our talents in an atmosphere void of judgement and gossip, i believe miracles can & do happen.
…and that today is my something to talk about!
xo cambria
