reclaiming homemaking

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it’s official. i became a “stay at home” mom as of june 2nd (don’t worry it was by choice). now really this isn’t a huge change for me because i took the little man with me to work, so i’ve always been a full-time mom, i just also worked a 40 hour a week job. i got a taste of both worlds if you will, minus the leaving your child with someone else part. i know what it’s like to come home and not have your laundry done because you were some where else all day, or how it is to try to cram everything in on saturday because there just isn’t ever enough time in the evenings before toddler bedtime and after you get off work, yet i was also around for all of the little man’s “first’s”, i didn’t miss a thing. it really was a perfect blend of “work outside the home” mom” & “stay at home” mom, and it is now over.

truthfully, the first morning after my last day and for a few more days, i was in shock. i really didn’t know what to do with myself. i’ve had a job since i was 13, without fail. the longest break i took from work was maternity leave, but even then it was on my mind and i knew i was going back after a set time.

this time around, there’s no going back to anything though. there’s no job ahead of me. there’s no job search awaiting me. i’m unemployed, maybe for the rest of my life? yeah right! it’s definitely taking some getting use to. of course, this was voluntary. i just didn’t know what it would do to me psychologically really being done and not planning on returning any time soon.

i’ve noticed my safety & comfort alerts beeping rather loudly at me since ending my employment. thoughts of finding a job i can start as soon as we move to colorado & schemes of how i could do both again, be a mother & have a stable paycheck run through my mind almost on auto pilot. i’ve come to realize though, that those thoughts are preventing me from enjoying the here and now, from focusing on on another very important job, that of being a homemaker or domestic diva or whatever you would like to call it. the most important job of all.

i’ve decided to keep my eyes open in regards to job opportunities (starting my own company or otherwise) that would still keep me with my son full time, i mean, we are headed into the dirt poor med school years, but am also reminding myself to be in the moment and not worry about it. to enjoy simply being a mother & homemaker. not to say that either is simple. that is not the meaning there. i mean just to be. to take the time to enjoy folding laundry. to find accomplishment in serving a hot, nutritious meal to my men. to find pride in a newly organized toy bin (that will just need to be reorganized 2 minutes later!). to take the time to be a mother & homemaker, no other label attached.

was reading an article in a magazine that my gym puts out, titled 7 paths to simplicity, and i loved the following from it, as it helped out into words my thoughts on homemaking lately, i felt it was speaking directly to me:

many americans today are so overworked that they have dropped homemaking from the “to-do” lists of their lives. some people delegate the task to pricey cleaning services; others throw up their hands and turn a reluctant blind eye to the dust bunnies roaming across the living-room floor. caring for something – a pet, a child, a garment – attaches us more closely to it. this is true for your home, as well. when you make housework your friend, you’ll find that your home becomes your sanctuary. to reclaim homemaking, carve out a small amount of time each day for domestic routines – and then elevate them to a daily ritual. you can start with a simple thing, like opening your curtains to welcome the first light of day, making your bed and folding your couch throw “just so” to invite use at the end of the day.


yes, it is my mission to put my, now wandering, energy into reclaiming homemaking as a top priority in my life. i have been that person who ignored the dust bunnies. i’ve always taken care of my child, which i found it funny child was thrown in with garment and pet (!?), but my home has taken the brunt of me working full time, as has my husband. i mean think about it, what happens when two people have both been at work all day? neither one is very energized or wanting to clean the bathroom when they get home. nor, is either one really wanting to cook a delicious dinner. thus we turn a blind eye and order take-out, and get fat together! i have to admit labeling the chores as “domestic routines” is already an improvement to me, and then calling them “domestic rituals”, even better! i’m already visualizing my home as a blissful sanctuary that i am the controller of! (i have control issues, so what!)

call me old fashioned, but i’m rather liking the idea of having dinner waiting for broc when he gets home from a long day of classes, or having his shirts all ironed for him ready to go in the future, as i become more focused on my domestic rituals. i’m actually getting excited about those ideas. where as, up to this point, i’ve had tunnel vision and my stand was always, “it’s 50/50 dude! you’re responsible for as much as i am, after all we both have full-time jobs. i’ll iron my clothes & you iron yours, in fact, since i also have the little man with me at my job, it’s more like 60/40 on the household duties, and i’m not the 60, so good luck!” yeah, bet you wish you were married to me? not!

after being home for over a week now though, i’m seeing the benefits of not having a job and that really those things could be a reality, instead of something i said, “dream on” to even two weeks ago. i see a possibility where i didn’t see one before & i’m kind of growing fond of that new possibility.

a new leaf is turning here in the parker household so watch out dust bunnies… i’m coming for you first! i’ve decided that rather than giving into the pull of searching for another job, i’m going to work towards mastering the ones i already have: wife, mother, & homemaker! homemaking 101, here i come!